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In contrast, sociable people are often gentle and good tempered and become angry less often. The reason is obvious. Patience and tolerance is usually acquired through coping with unpleasant events and letting the self get accustomed to them, and since social life presents many challenges and disturbing encounters, it provides opportunities to gradually acquire the art of being patient.
Unsociable people are often mirthless, rarely laugh, do not participate much in recreational activities and their life is monotonous and boring. This disturbs their spiritual balance and causes a sort of uneasiness in them, and when they are faced with a difficult situation , they become prone to anxiety and mental imbalances as they do not possess a means for dealing appropriately with the challenges. This increases their anger and ill humor.
6- Being deprived of sciences and experiences: A person acquires knowledge in scientific and other fields by listening to the great men and their methods and being inspired by their way of thinking. It goes without saying that such sciences and experiences cannot be acquired by adopting a life of seclusion. Rather, it is through interaction and pro-active living in the heart of society that one achieves the fruitful life of useful and beneficial experiences.
Taking into account these advantages and disadvantages it is patently clear that the preferred course is the one put forth by those who advocate a lifestyle based on association as opposed to seclusion.
It is noteworthy that although the foundation of life of each man should be based on association and communication with people, yet there are some exceptional cases which call for adopting seclusion or at least minimizing association. This is the case when one is exposed to a very poisonous and vicious environment wherein the result of association will be nothing but deviation and wrongdoing. Surely, we should avoid such a society just as we would avoid a place full of contagious diseases.
Seclusion and dissociation of Prophet Abraham A.S. or the People of Cave are instances of such cases.
The speech of Imam Sadegh A.S. to Safian Souri too refers to this reality. When he said:
«فَسَدَ الزَّمانُ وَ تَغَيَّرَ الاِْخْوانُ فَرَأَيْتُ الاِْنْفِرادَ اَسْكَنَ لِلْفُؤادِ».
The world is vicious and friends have changed, so I found seclusion more peaceful.(31)
Also when a man is ill humored and is not able to avoid it, his seclusion for securing people from his ill humor is desirable.
The other point which should be mentioned is that a man should also spend some hours of day and night in seclusion and solitude so that he can think and study, pray with complete concentration, seek closeness to God, free from any doubt and hypocrisy. Great personalities are often found to include this feature of solitary time in their daily life schedule, and it is possible that some of the seclusion traditions are linked to this concept.
To sum up, the basic principle in man's life should be to adopt association, while seclusion and dissociation are used in exceptional cases.
Scholars of ethics have emphasized in their books on the necessity of these two principles for acquiring good moral habits and keeping away from vices. Vigilance involves close attention to one's actions before performing them and self-examination is concerned with reviewing the consequences and effects of an action after performing it.
Sometimes, a little ignorance and lapse in these two stages creates immense problems which are then very difficult to redress. The situation is similar to the care needed for one's body. A man has to comply with various practices related to hygiene for preserving his physical health, and takes steps to avoid food and environment which may cause diseases. At times he has to be vaccinated for prevention from diseases. Some need to be on special diets, others need precise medical examinations by proficient physicians, and after recovery they need rehabilitation to regain strength and deal with side effects.
To counter moral deviations and acquire spiritual health one needs similar efforts. In general, one should consider the following aspects:
1- He should always watch his condition and know that God is always observing and watching him. Holy Quran says:
(أَفَمَنْ هُوَ قائِمٌ عَلى كُلِّ نَفْس بِما كَسَبَتْ).
(What, He who stands over every soul for what he has earned?)(32). It is inferred from this verse that God is watching man like the one who is always standing over him.
And it says:
(اِنَّ اللهَ كانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيباً).
Surely God ever watches over you.(33)
And it is narrated in a tradition from Prophet S.A.:
«اُعْبُدِ اللهَ كَاَنَّكَ تَراهُ فَاِنْ لَمْ تَكُنْ تَراهُ فَاِنَّهُ يَراكَ».
Worship God as if you see Him, and if you do not see Him, He sees you.(34)
It is interesting that this tradition is mentioned for the interpretation of the word "goodness" in the verse
(اِنَّ اللهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَ الاِْحْسانِ).
God bids to justice and good deeds.(35)
That is to say the source of all goodness is vigilance.
2- Before starting each utterance and action, a man should study precisely its reason, the likely effects and consequences. As narrated in one tradition:
«اِنَّهُ يُنْشَرُ لِلْعَبْدِ فِي كُلِّ حَرَكَة مِنْ حَرَكاتِهِ وَ اِنْ صَغُرَتْ ثَلاثَةُ دَواوِينَ: اَلاَْوَّلُ لِمَ; اَلثّانِي كَيْفَ; اَلثّالِثُ لِمَنْ».
When performing each action, however small it may be, three books are opened for registering its specifications: first book for why, and the second for how, and third for whom.(36)
In other words, the intention of action is registered in the first book, the quality of action in the second, and its purpose and final aim in the third one.
Surely, such focus will help in prevention of misdeeds.
3- Everyday, he should closely examine his deeds of the day. If he has committed a sin, mistake or a wrong deed, he should take steps to protect his heart and soul from its adverse effects and prevent them from taking root and becoming intrinsic part of him. He should reflect on the ominous consequences of that deed, rebuke himself, and resolve to be more vigilant in the future, and perform good deeds that match the bad ones in their intensity in order to restore the luminosity and purity of his heart and soul. He should also take steps to strengthen his belief and spirituality.
The issue of self-examination and compensation of action is so critical that Prophet S.A. says:
«اِنِّي لاََسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ وَ اَتُوبُ اِلَيْهِ فِي الْيَوْمِ سَبْعِينَ مَرَّةً».
I ask God's forgiveness and I repent to Him seventy times everyday.(37)
It goes without saying that repentance of Prophet S.A. is not for sin, rather it is a way of showing true humbleness in worship and the importance of repentance as such.
Correction of speech
* Tongue is the interpreter of heart
* Thirty great sins which originate from tongue.
* Silence and reticence
Correction of tongue and speech has assumed a major importance in moral discussions because tongue is the interpreter of heart, representative of intellect, key of man's personality, and the most important window to man's soul.
In other words, what is depicted on the tablet of man's soul (including mental, emotional and sentimental events), first of all emerges on the tongue and in his speech. Physicians have for long ascertained the patient's temperament through the condition of his tongue and nowadays psychoanalysts too look closely at one's speech to treat mental problems.
Ethics scholars attach much importance to the tongue and deem its correction as a sign of the strengthening of one's spirituality and moral virtues and habits.
This reality is also captured succintly in the traditions of the Prophet's House as illustrated by the following sayings narrated respectively from Imam Ali A.S. and Imam Sadegh A.S.:
1- Man is hidden under his tongue.(38)
«اَلْمَرْءُ مَخْبُوءٌ تَحْتَ لِسانِهِ».
That is to say not only scientific personality, but also moral and social personality and in general his humanistic personality is under his tongue, and as long as he has not spoken, his fault and virtue is concealed.
2- Firmness and purity of belief is not possible without firmness and purity of heart, and the latter is not possible without firmness and purity of tongue.(39)
«لا يَسْتَقِيمُ اِيمانُ عَبْد حَتّى يَسْتَقِيمَ قَلْبُهُ، وَ لا يَسْتَقِيمُ قَلْبُهُ حَتّى يَسْتَقِيمَ لِسانُهُ».
The importance of correction of tongue becomes clearer when we realise that many sins as well as good deeds originate from the tongue.
Ghazali has narrated twenty types of vices and sins for tongue as follows:
1- Speaking about the affairs which do not concern one.
2- Ranting and babbling
3- Speaking about forbidden things like wine, gambling and unchaste women.
4- Disputing and raising objections with ulterior motives
5- Quarrelsome utterances
6- Affectation in speech and trouble in rhythm and such like
7- Abuse and insult
8- Cursing
9- Profane singing
10- Indulgence in humor
11- Sarcasm and mockery
12- Disclosing secrets of others
13- False promises
14- Telling lies, false oaths
15- Slander
16- Gossip
17- Hypocrisy in speech
18- Inappropriate eulogy
19- Inelegant and erroneous talk
20- Vulgar questions in respect of serious matters such as religious beliefs
It is obvious that one can further expand this list of Ghazali . For example:
1- Accusation
2- False evidence
3- Self-admiration
4- Unfounded rumors about fornication etc
5- Harshness in utterance
6- Improper insistence
7- Verbal molestation
8- Blaming
9- Expressing ungratefulness
10-Propogating lies and promoting sin
There is no doubt that proper verbal communication should be taught as one of the most critical subjects on morality. This becomes clearer when we consider the fact that the tongue is always readily available to a person for immediate, fast, cheap communication and words once spoken cannot be retracted. Just as one handles explosives and missiles with great care, one needs to be ever so watchful in the use of one's tongue.
Taking into account the above risks of wayward speech, ethics scholars have advocated silence as a preventive measure in cases where speaking is not necessary. Numerous traditions on this are mentioned from Prophet S.A. and Prophet's House A.S., and a number of great men have adopted this as a starting point in their journey of purification of their soul.
Moreover, silence facilitates reflection, spirituality and clear-sightedness. Perhaps this is why Prophet Zachariah's three days of silence was seen as the sign of fulfillment of his supplication for a child:
(قالَ آيَتُكَ اَلاّ تُكَلِّمَ النّاسَ ثَلاثَ لَيال سَوِيّاً).
He said: My Lord! give me a sign. He said: Your sign is that you will not be able to speak to the people three nights while in sound health.(40)
And Mary was ordered to vow a silence fast:
(فَقُولِى اِنِّي نَذَرْتُ لِلرَّحْمنِ صَوْماً فَلَنْ اُكَلِّمَ الْيَوْمَ اِنْسِيّاً).
Say: I have vowed to the All-merciful a fast, and today I will not speak to any man.(41)
We are told that before the revelation of prophethood , our Prophet S.A. had spent several days in the cave of Hira in silence and reflection, meditating about the mysteries of creation.
We can summarize the advantages of silence as follows:
1- Silence insures man against a lot of sins. Prophet S.A. says in his short and meaningful phrase:
«مَنْ صَمَتَ نَجا».
Whosoever is silent is saved.(42)
The reason for this is clear. Most sins are performed by tongue. As Prophet S.A. says:
«اِنَّ اَكْثَرَ خَطايَا ابْنِ آدَمَ فِي لِسانِهِ».
Most of man's mistakes are in his tongue.(43)
And it is narrated from the Prophet in another tradition:
«اُخْزُنْ لِسانَكَ اِلاّ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ فَاِنَّكَ بِذلِكَ تَغْلِبُ الشَّيْطانَ».
Hold your tongue except for a good utterance and thereby you will overcome Satan.(44)
2- Silence invites man to thinking and reflection which are central to his spiritual life. Thus we find that silent people are typically thinkers, resourceful, and pro-active. In contrast, talkative people are often long on words and short on action.
It is narrated in a tradition from Prophet S.A.:
«اِذا رَأَيْتُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَ صَمُوتاً وَقُوراً فَادْنُوا مِنْهُ فَاِنَّهُ يُلْقِي الحِكْمَةَ».
When you find a believer silent and courtly, make contact with him so that he teaches you wisdom.(45)
And it is narrated from Imam Ali A.S.:
«اِذا تَمَّ الْعَقْلُ نَقَصَ الْكَلامُ».
As intelligence increases, speech decreases.(46)
In addition to the fact that silence is the best means for sharpening one's powers of reflection, the above phrase could also suggest that speaking consumes much mental energy which a silent person can save and use instead in unravelling complex realities. Furthermore, silence is a tranquilizer of soul and moderator of sentiments.
3- Excessive talk produces a chain of adverse effects as described in the following tradition from Imam Ali A.S. :
«مَنْ كَثُرَ كَلامُهُ كَثُرَ خَطَأُهُ، وَ مَنْ كَثُرَ خَطَأُهُ قَلَّ حَياؤُهُ وَ مَنْ قَلَّ حَياؤُهُ قَلَّ وَرَعُهُ، وَ مَنْ قَلَّ وَرَعُهُ ماتَ قَلْبُهُ، وَ مَنْ ماتَ قَلْبُهُ دَخَلَ النّارَ».
He who speaks more, commits more errors. He who commits more errors, becomes shameless. He who is shameless, would have less fear of Allah. When his fear of Allah lessens, his heart dies. He whose heart dies, enters Hell.(47)
Another saying that emphasizes the importance of silence:
«اَلْعِبادَةُ عَشَرَةُ اَجْزاء تِسْعَةٌ مِنْها فِي الصَّمْتِ».
Worship has ten portions, nine of which exist in silence.(48)
But it would be a mistake to liken silence to going into seclusion to get away from sinful temptations. Rather, it is like avoiding a sin by choosing silence when tempted to sins like slandering.
It should also be mentioned that when speaking is necessary, remaining silent is considered as a major fault, and a sign of weakness, lack of spiritual courage and fearing mortals instead of God.
It is also noteworthy that just as most sins are performed by tongue, a large portion of good deeds, like God's remembrance, guiding people, training and education, enjoining good, and forbidding evil are also performed by tongue.
* Miraculous results of truthfulness
* Lie - the source of all sins
* Lie is not compatible with belief
* Lie makes man improvident
* The liar does not trust even in himself
* Source of lie
* How to rectify the habit lying
* Lie in exceptional cases
* What is equivocation?
* A new interpretation about equivocation
Undoubtedly, truthfulness and honesty (truth and trust) are the most manifest signs of personality. One who lacks these does not deserve to be called a human. Both are interrelated and go hand in hand as seen in various Islamic traditions. After all truthfulness is nothing but trust in speech, and trust is nothing but truth in action, and as we will see their social effects are similar.
Truthfulness and honesty adorn one's personality and reflect the magnificence of his mind and purity of his soul. Truthful people are usually brave, frank, sincere, and free from prejudices and excessive love and hatred. In contrast, liars are usually cowardly, hypocritical, greedy, fanatic, stubborn, and given to excessive love and hatred.
Truthful people are certainly principled. Their frank and candid communication sets them apart from the guile and hypocrisy of the liars. We can consider truthfulness as a key for detecting the reality of an individual's inner self . Truth in speech is said to be a means of evaluation of people in various narrations and traditions of Prophet's House A.S.:
Imam Sadegh A.S.:
«لا تَنْظُرُوا اِلى طُولِ رُكُوعِ الرَّجُلِ وَ سُجُودِهِ فَاِنَّ ذلِكَ شَيْءٌ قَدِ اعْتادَهُ فَلَوْ تَرَكَهُ اسْتَوْحَشَ لِذلِكَ، وَلكِنِ انْظُرُوا اِلى صِدْقِ حَدِيثِهِ وَ اَداءِ اَمانَتِهِ».
Do not look at one's long bowing and prostrations in prayer. It may just be their habit, and it disturbs them if they do not do it. Rather, look at their truthfulness and honesty.(49)
Holy Quran says:
(وَ لَتَعْرِفَنَّهُمْ فِي لَحْنِ الْقَوْلِ).
And thou shalt certainly know them in the twisting of their speech.(50)
From a social point of view, the greatest advantage that truth and trust can offer is attracting confidence and reliance. This facilitates all scientific, industrial and economic developments which in turn emanate from the social interactions in a society. Effective collaboration and consultation, which are the foundations of social life, are only possible when individuals trust and rely on each other. Otherwise, people will get bogged down with unproductive disputes and disturbances, struggles and sabotages.
Society's best friend is truth and trust, and its most dangerous enemy is lie. If companies make false claims about one of their products , people will suspect even their best products. If the rulers lie, people will disregard their promises, invitations, and warnings, and they will lose powerful public support.
If lie becomes rampant in the scientific arena, scientists and scholars will not trust the statements and judgments of each other leading to unnecessary and enormously costly duplication of work as each of them will want to do his own research on every subject ( reinvent the wheel ) as he cannot rely on work of others.
Several narrations refer to the reality that trust and truth bestow purity of action, whereas lie is the key of all types of sins. For a better understanding, lets look at some of the narrations from Prophet's House A.S. and carry out an analysis.
Imam Ali A.S. says:
«الصِّدْقُ يَهْدِي اِلَى الْبِرِّ وَ الْبِرُّ يَدْعُو اِلَى الْجَنَّةِ».
Truthfulness guides people to goodness, and goodness leads them to paradise.(51)
Imam Sadegh A.S. says:
«اِذا صَدَقَ الْعَبْدُ قالَ اللهُ: صَدَقَ و بَرَّ، وَ اِذا كَذِبَ قالَ اللهُ كَذَبَ وَ فَجَرَ».
When a God's servant speaks the truth, God says: he said the truth and performed a good deed, and when he lies, He says: he lied and performed an evil deed!(52)
Imam Askari A.S. says:
جُعِلَتِ الْخَبائِثُ كُلُّها فِي بَيْت وَ جُعِلَ مِفْتاحُها اَلْكَذِبُ».
All vices are locked in a room and its key is lie.(53)
It is easily inferred from this tradition that lie is the key of all vices and evils.
Now we study the effects of truthfulness and lie in the context of man's deeds:
1- Lie is the source of hypocrisy, because truthfulness refers to harmony of tongue and heart, and lie is disharmony between these two. This is the starting point of the divergence of man's inner self from his outward expression, and the liar gradually proceeds to full hypocrisy.
Holy Quran refers to this fact and says:
(فَاَعْقَبَهُمْ نِفاقاً فِي قُلُوبِهِمْ اِلى يَوْمِ يَلْقَوْنَهُ بِما اَخْلَفُوا اللهَ ما وَعَدُوهُ وَ بِما كانُوا يَكْذِبُونَ).
So, as a result, He puts hypocrisy into their hearts, until the day they meet Him, for that they failed God in what they promised Him and they were liars.(54)
2- Lie is the tool of most sins. Those committing theft or treachery, hoarding or short-weighing or engaging in any other form of dishonesty and deception will come to a standstill if they stop lying. Lie is thus the tool, the enabler, with which they carry out these vices.
3- An envious person resorts to lies to hurt his victims with false accusations, as does a proud person in his boasting and false ostentations. Flatterers and greedy persons too make use of lies and half-truths for achieving their dubious goals.
4- One who holds fast to truthfulness has no alternative but to restrain himself from most of the sins, because he knows that if he is asked about the issue, he will say the truth, and if he says the truth, it will be disgraceful or cause other adverse repercussions. So, there is a strong motivation to avoid those bad deeds in the first place. Thus, one who is wedded to this blessed attribute of truth is indeed saved from many a sin.
5- A lie most often leads to more lies and sins, because liars tend to need to tell additional lies or carry out evil acts to support or cover up the first lie. This compounding effect can sometimes result in a relatively mild falsification ending up in a major web of lies and vile acts.
It is clear from the above discussion that an honest person with a firm determination to say nothing but the truth achieves freedom from most of his sins because their root cause i.e. lies, is removed from the scene.
It can be deduced from different traditions that lie and belief cannot go hand in hand. In other words lying is a sign that a person is lacking in, or has a defective, belief.
These traditions have been inspired by Holy Quran where it says:
(اِنَّما يَفْتَرِي الْكَذِبَ الَّذِينَ لا يُؤْمِنُونَ بِآياتِ اللهِ وَ اُولئِكَ هُمُ الْكاذِبُونَ).
They only forge falsehood, who believe not in the signs of God, and those -–they are liars.(55)
"Forge falsehood" may refer to deliberate falsehood.
And now some of the narrations:
«سُئِلَ رَسُولُ اللهِ(صلى الله عليه وآله): يَكُونُ الْمُؤْمِنُ جَباناً؟ قالَ: نَعَمْ. قِيلَ: وَ يَكُونُ بَخِيلا؟ قالَ: نَعَمْ. قِيلَ: وَيَكُونُ كَذّاباً؟ قال: لا».
The Prophet S.A. was asked: Is it possible for a believer to be a coward? He answered: yes. He was asked: Is it possible for him to be stingy? He answered: yes. He was asked: Is it possible for him to be a liar? He answered: no.(56)
«قالَ اَمِيرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ(عليه السلام): لا يَجِدُ عَبْدٌ طَعْمَ الاِْيمانِ حَتّى يَتْرُكَ الْكَذِبَ هَزْلَهُ وَجِدَّهُ».
Imam Ali A.S. said: A man does not taste the deliciousness of belief, unless he refuses lie, whether a serious one or in jest.(57)
«عنه (عليه السلام): جانِبُوا الْكَذِبَ فَاِنَّهُ مُجانِبُ الاِْيمانِ».
Avoid lie, it is not compatible with belief.(58)
Thus we conclude from these narrations that believers avoid lies, and belief and lie can never be bedfellows. It is a fact that liars do not easily accept invitation of the prophets. Since they themselves lie in small matters, they cannot believe that prophets can really be truthful on such big issues. They may call themselves believers, but if we explore into the depth of their hearts, we will find that it is not free from doubt and suspicion. The contrary is also true. That is to say the truthful people, because they themselves are truthful and honest, tend to accept whatever they hear unless there is evidence to the contrary.
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